


darkness becomes you

by orphan_account



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gen, Sociopath Stiles Stilinski
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-14
Updated: 2014-09-14
Packaged: 2018-02-17 07:45:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2301956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are not, despite what people like Scott and your father may think, in love with Lydia Martin. There is a difference between being in love and being fascinated. You are fascinated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	darkness becomes you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [introductory](https://archiveofourown.org/users/introductory/gifts).



> written in 2012.

You are sixteen and you are bored. This is not a revelation, you are always bored. Beacon Hills is a small town and is quickly learned and its people are quickly learned and you have read all that you can read in its tiny library.

Throw a ball at the wall, catch. Repeat. Monotony is the town's favourite word, it seems.

Familiar and safe and reassuring and _boring_.

Throw a ball at the wall, catch. Repeat. Think.

You are sixteen and you are bored. You can see your father's reaction already.

. 

You are not, despite what people like Scott and your father may think, in love with Lydia Martin. There is a difference between being in love and being fascinated. You are fascinated. You are fascinated by Lydia Martin and this is unusual in and of itself. Beacon Hills is not fascinating, ergo, nothing in Beacon Hills should have held your attention for so many years.

There is a difference between love and fascination, and the difference is this: you want to know what makes her tick.

. 

When you were six you wanted to know what made your neighbour's dog tick, what made him bark at night when you were trying to sleep, what made him chase after your mother's car, what made him ruin her flowers.

It was very revealing.

. 

Lydia Martin is popular and pretty and intelligent. This is always good.

Lydia Martin knows what you are.

Lydia Martin should not know what you are.

.

Of course you know that there is something not right with you, you aren’t stupid, you aren’t like the rest of the lacrosse team, like the rest of the people in your class, your year group, your school. You’re like a piece of machinery with a part missing, a robot with a component broken; you’ve used that expression before to your therapist, to your father – a robot with a broken empathy component. It’s not your fault that you don’t care. It’s not your fault that you can’t care.

Your therapist says, I’m sure that’s not the case, and she smiles, and you smile too because that is what she is expecting you to do. It’s easier this way. It’s easier to pretend.

.

Lydia Martin looks at you on a Thursday afternoon in fifth grade and asks you, _what is it like, being a psychopath?_

You don’t say anything, but a month later your father is teasing you for your crush on “that Martin girl.”

You don’t say anything then, either.

.

It is raining. You’re in your car and Lydia Martin is walking. 

You are bored. 

Roll the window down. “Want a lift?” you ask her. 

She looks at you, and you’re prepared for her to say no, to ignore you. You are not popular. You are not like Lydia Martin. 

Nobody is like Lydia Martin. 

“Alright,” she says. 

She gets in the car. 

You are not bored. 

.

When you were six, your father found you with a dog cut open and your hands in its guts. You were — _entranced_. 

He was horrified. 

You have not done it since. 

.

Lydia Martin is in your car and you are entranced by her, have been for years. You are fascinated by her. She is a unknown quantity. 

You need to understand. 

You are not far from the woods. 

.

You need to understand. 

. 

She asks: _where are you going, why are you taking this route, there is nothing out here, your house is the other way, mine is too. What are you doing, Stiles? What are you doing?_

The door is locked. 

You say nothing. 

She screams. 

.

You go to school on Monday. It is a normal day. 

Lydia Martin is not at school.


End file.
